Check Lists

 It was a warm September night, as I drove into the Phoenix NICU, I  replayed all that happened earlier that day. My little girl had stopped breathing, she was blue, limp and unresponsive. As I called 911 I began the worst the process I have ever experienced: infant CPR. With each breath I gave her I prayed that God would save her, I kept breathing into her little mouth rhythmically: breathe, look for chest to rise, breathe, look for chest to rise. She was taken to the local hospital to be airlifted back to Phoenix, just before she was to be airlifted by helicopter, our neonatologist had told me on the phone that the prospects were not going to be good. A series of brain tests and studies would begin in the morning. They warned us that she would probably have severe brain damage, and that the actuality of her ever being like her peers was out of reach.

This was taken hours before I performed CPR... she was doing really well, before taking a turn for the worse.  

My husband and I were devastated! How could our little girl have gone through so much, and now be given such a hard diagnosis.We believed firmly that God was either going to heal her or give us the strength to walk through the unknown of having a special needs child. After several tests, one that had over 35 leads on her head -the final conclusion came. A miracle happened, the doctors and nurses couldn't believe it- she had no brain bleeds or brain damage! We couldn't believe it either- praising God and thanking so many of you that faithfully prayed for us in our darkest hour. That was our last admittance to the NICU, we were discharged a week later, and transferred to a hospital here in Prescott where they gave her oxygen and helped her adjust to the altitude.

Bree and I reading in the doctor's office this week-- daddy's beanie added quite the cuteness factor!

Since then, we have had baby well checks with a local doctor here in Prescott, and every appointment is nerve racking. As the nurse reads off her check list: naming each item one by one: does your baby roll over yet? Grab things with both hands? One hand? Does she laugh? Does she babble? With each meeting she was hitting her adjusted age developmentally (her due date had she been born then), but not quite her actual age. Every meeting our doctor reassured us saying that it takes an average preemie 2 years to fully catch up. Each time there is that nagging, what if the NICU missed something? What if she has some brain damage? We usually leave with a regimen of more tummy time, and play time etc. Since being home we do tummy time, but often I feel as though I am not being serious enough, because I just want to enjoy playing with my baby and not think about all of the different problems that Bree might face. We have giggled, played with our toes, rolled around together and just been silly. I have loved every minute of it!

Last week Bree had her  6 month appointment, and I was nervous as usual. It had seemed to me that in the last 6 weeks or so she had made leaps and bounds developmentally, but I knew that she just wasn't quite there yet. The nurse came in and began her questioning, using the 6th month guidelines first. I almost couldn't believe it when she asked "does your baby roll over both ways?" "yes," I replied. "And does she sit up own her own for a few seconds, and or with little support?" At that point Bree was sitting on my lap unassisted, the nurse smiled and said, "I'll take that as a yes." She continued with each question, I was shocked when we reached the end of the list, and Nate and I had answered yes to every question!! Upon meeting with the doctor, she excitedly told us that Bree  was caught up! I still can't believe it! This is a little girl that was about to die, then she was going to have tons of brain damage, then she was going to take 2 years to catch up.... and she has done that in less than half the time!

I don't believe that Nate and I are special parents, that we have done a better job than other preemie parents. We have befriended and watched many preemie parents struggle with the development of their children. I don't know why God has blessed us in this way, but even so, I am ecstatic and while we take her development very seriously, for today- we are just going to enjoy having a healthy, happy, strong baby! Thank you for your prayers, support and love on this journey called parenthood!