Taking Care of Mama... Taking Care of Baby

Casting all your anxieties on him, for he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Every mom knows the struggle of having a newborn: sleepless nights, tons of dirty diapers, and of course the witching hour! For too many mom's however, their struggle and story begins in the hospital. The sound of sleepless nights while caring for a healthy baby sounds like heaven, that is my story for sure. Our time in the NICU has made me treasure each moment with Bree in a way that I never anticipated, and it taught me one of the most important lessons that I had yet to learn- that a healthy baby comes from a healthy mama! My husband and I "moved in" to the NICU after Bree had been there about a month. We spent about 18hrs a day at the hospital for that first month and spent the nights at friend's relatives (now our dear friends), but after that month we decided to start breastfeeding full time, and live in the NICU! Our sleepless nights consisted of monitors beeping, one hard couch that Nate let me sleep on, while he slept on the hard cold floor of the NICU night after night for two months. Let me tell you- he is truly a saint! My favorite times however, were at our 6am feeding when I would just snuggle my little Bree and hold her close! She seemed to be most alert and interactive at that time. We would go days without going outside, and there were times that we were having to make hard medical decisions for her at 2 o' clock in the morning. Due to the fact that we were living in Phoenix we didn't have access to very healthy food. We at lots of hospital cafeteria food, and way too much cheap fast food just to get by. My body was starting to shut down as I struggled to eat healthy, and didn't exercise at all- not to mention the stress of it all piling up.

It was after our second discharge that the unthinkable happened. After being home all of two days I had to perform CPR on our sweet Bree, she was airlifted back to Phoenix and we were back in the NICU for a third time! I was in shock that I had to give my baby CPR and that we were back in the hospital- for two days straight I didn't eat, sleep or drink anything. I just stared at Bree, praying over her, and looking at her. We had been there two days and the doctors didn't know how long they were going to keep her.They had decided to start doing brain testing, metabolic testing etc. I was breastfeeding normally, until the second night that we were there... nothing. I had no milk! For those of you who have been following my posts, you know how hard I fought to breastfeed, and now there was no milk. Bree was crying, I was crying, and my poor husband was sleep deprived, trying to figure out how to get the nurse to order formula down to our room. I began power pumping, every 20 minutes pumping for 20 minutes. I did this for hours, leaving me sore, tired and with only about an ounce of milk. Again, feeling embarrassed, ashamed and helpless. Bree didn't do well on formula, she got really gassy, constipated and had breathing issues due to her pushing gas and being constipated- her life depended quite literally on breast milk and I had none. Each time she got "bagged," (forced oxygen) because she was so gassy and pushing I felt awful.

Our lactation consultant came in so sweetly and said that everything was going to be ok. She asked me what I had eaten in the last 24 hrs to which I replied "nothing." Then, "how much have you had to drink?" "Nothing." She smiled sweetly and told us that we needed to get a couple of nights of sleep and that I absolutely had to be eating and drinking. Some may say that I'm a little bit of a slow learner, but this is when I really understood the power of taking care of yourself to take care of your baby. I began eating some healthier options (nothing great mind you, as we were still in Phoenix), but better. I found some amazing organic lactation tea, and within hours I was able to pump 5-6 oz of milk for our little girl! I couldn't believe it! I started to relax a little bit, and just enjoy the present time that I had with Bree. Nate and I started taking breaks by walking around the hospital, and I even did yoga in the rain one night.

Since being home almost 4 months (praise Jesus!) I have had moments where my milk has diminished and even dried up like that night. These are my staple questions: 1. how much have I eaten? 2. How much have I had to drink? 3. How is my stress level? 4. Have I had time to read my bible/pray/ and go for a walk? While for some moms this seems like a luxury to have time for a walk, devos, a real meal etc.  for me they have become vital to Bree's health. Whether you are breastfeeding or not, it is so important to be in good health for your little one! So below I have written some ways that I take care of myself- so that I can take care of Bree! I hope this encourages you, inspires you, and may even make you want to help another mom who is struggling in this area!

1. Drink water, and lots of it! Every time I sit down to nurse Bree I try to drink 12 oz of water. Since she nurses about 8-10 times a day... that's my water quota met in a really easy way! This is good for your even if you aren't nursing, drink when your baby drinks!

2. Utilize nap time for some mom time. Nap time is when I try to do bible reading, yoga, or some home dvd workout

3. Eat healthy: Most moms that breastfeed lose weight right away, this wasn't my story, but one thing that doesn't help is eating processed sugary foods! I try to have a piece of fruit, or veggie when I feed Bree!

4. Laugh with your baby. I have found that stress is the worst for my milk supply and body in general! Taking time out to focus on the good things, and find joy with your little one goes a long way!!

5. Breastfeeding lying down is a great way for you to get some rest, and for your baby to get fed. This advice came from an awesome mom in my life, and she was soo right! This also boosts milk supply! Even if you aren't breastfeeding, lying down with baby near you is a great way to connect and play with fingers and toes. Just relax together!

6. Being in the moment. As a mom this can be challenging as everyday seems monotonous;but take heart, these days are fleeting, as I have been told so many times! Be in the moment with your little one and treasure their little button nose, and their adoring eyes!

Breast Feeding in the NICU part II

It has taken me quite some time to think about how I wanted to do my part II of breastfeeding in the NICU. This is such a personal topic for so many people, including myself, and my hope is that reading this would be an encouragement rather than a judgement. Being in the NICU made me realize the importance of giving our little one every fighting chance, and while I had planned on breastfeeding before knowing we'd be in the NICU, her health settled the deal for us! Having said that, I can only speak to my own experience. I know there are many moms who struggled just like me and in the end were unable to breastfeed, or produce milk etc. This post is going to cover the top 5 reasons why breastfeeding was the best choice for our family, hoping this brings some new insight and encouragement to those mom's who choose to breastfeed or are curious about it's benefits.

Top 5 Reasons Why We Breastfeed

1. Human  milk is best for babies! It is specifically designed for your baby... so for my preemie, my milk was much fattier and full of nutrients that a formula could never make up! It helped her gain weight faster, and has protected her from illness.

2. Breast milk actually helps develop baby's cognitive ability! This is one of my favorite facts about breast milk. Studies have proven that breast fed babies are actually smarter! The milk actually has "smarter fats," meaning that they are designed for your baby's brain development.

3. Breast feeding decreases a woman's risk of breast cancer by nearly 25%! Imagine a world with 1/4 less breast cancer stories!

4.  Breast milk helps build up immunities and creates a strong immune system for these little ones! Research shows that breastfed babies are sick less often! This fact fascinates me! If a baby has been exposed to an illness that mom hasn't that organism is transferred through baby's saliva to the breast where antibodies are created onsite! Talk about an incredible design!

5. It's easier! No getting out of bed in the middle of the night stumbling to find the bottle and warm up the milk! Nope- it's always ready to go and always the perfect temperature!

I have loved getting to learn all about this incredible system through my own research, but do your own and make the best decision for you and your family! Here are some of my favorite websites, that are loaded with information!

http://www.notmilk.com/101.html

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/childrens-health/articles/2011/01/21/is-breast-feeding-always-best-for-babies

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/feeding-eating/breastfeeding/why-breast-is-best/how-breastfeeding-builds-brighter-brains

http://milkshare.birthingforlife.com/healthbenefits

http://www.llli.org/resources/assistance.html?m=0,0

The Struggle and Joys of Breastfeeding in the NICU Part 1

Before having Breanna I dreamed of her birth, how she would come into this world. I imagined getting to hold her close to my chest as soon as she arrived and starting what was only natural... breastfeeding. There were many critics in my ear telling me that I was going to be unable to do a natural delivery because of the pain, and that breastfeeding isn't easy- and so just start formula right from the get go. At the time I couldn't understand why people were telling me to give up so easily, now on the other side I fully understand their heart. It wasn't that people want to be discouraging so quickly, it's that natural labor and breastfeeding are really hard and often times impossible for women. I watched the business of being born too many times to count, and natural home births (not a Baby Story--- which is dramatized TV). I studied how our nation which is so industrialized and medically ahead of the curve has such a high mortality rate for mothers. I was astounded to learn that America spends on average $98 million a year on hospitalizations for pregnancies, and yet we rank 50th in the country for maternal mortality... 50!! How can this be? We are America... we are the best of the best, unfortunately not in this area. The mortality rate for mothers has doubled in the last 25 years and we are now putting more women at risk than we are helping them. I knew there was a link between natural birth, and breastfeeding but I couldn't put my finger on it. After much research again, I discovered that epidurals are indeed a narcotic that can inhibit your ability to release the hormones necessary to breastfeed. I read about how they increase the labor time by double and leave women drained and "beat up" so to speak. I have read about so many women that were in labor for over 24 hrs and so drained by the end of it... I didn't want labor to be any longer than it had to be. But back to breastfeeding, as I began to study other cultures and people that had considerably worse health care than America, and yet a better mortality rate than ours I found the missing link between natural birth and breastfeeding---- THE LEGACY!
The legacy of childbirth and breastfeeding is a powerful one.  I studied the Netherlands quite closely and modeled my pregnancy after theirs. I found that most girls in their teens had seen many natural births from their mothers, friends etc., and with that, they watched these women figure out the gift of breastfeeding. The lack of narcotics allowed for their hormones to do what came naturally mixed with the knowledge of watching others go through the same experience. Our society teaches us today that if it doesn't come naturally then just switch to formula, but how would something come naturally that one hadn't ever seen up close? I began reading books on breastfeeding, how we as Americans have lost the passing of the torch so to speak to our daughters and their daughters. I read about La Leche groups and how they offered support for women seeking to breastfeed. I was in the middle of reading the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding when my water broke, and I would have to put what I had learned to practice two months early.

I had always imagined holding Bree and breastfeeding her right away, but when a baby is premature and needs a NICU team this isn't possible. I hadn't read, researched or planned on having a preterm baby and had no idea what this meant for breastfeeding, but I was determined to not give up. Arriving back into my recovery room at about 4am July 5th for some sleep, my nurse told me that I should try and pump. What? Pump? I hadn't read about when to start pumping, or even how to pump. She rolled in the yellow medela pump as it's tires squeaked on the hospital floors shame crept up inside of me. I didn't want to be pumping, I wanted my baby. I didn't want someone else touching me and showing me how to use the pump properly- I felt so ashamed of having a preterm baby. My nurse was kind and gentle and could tell I was uncomfortable, but she prompted me to start pumping every 2 hrs around the clock to help my milk production. I placed the pump on and set it to the lowest setting. It hurt so bad, I couldn't believe the pain that started when I pumped. Tears streamed down my face, and she reassured me that it would hurt to begin with and that I probably wouldn't get anything the first few tries. This was my path now to breastfeeding.... talk about a legacy I didn't want to be a part of. I had never seen anyone pump in my life and I had no idea what to expect from this experience.

 Nate, being the amazing husband that he is,  encouraged me and tried to protect my dignity.  I just wanted to shrivel up from the embarrassment of the whole ordeal. I felt like this was all my fault and I couldn't bear it. With each rhythmic swishing of the pump cemented in the pain of having a NICU baby- and the shame that came with that.  After several days of painful pumping with no results- I finally started to see some results. The doctors warned me not to get discouraged because with preterm delivery it is always harder for milk production than full term deliveries. Two drops were all I was getting for 30-40 minutes of pumping every two hours. It was exhausting, painful and uncomfortable. But Nate and I knew that this would be what would be the best for Bree's physical and mental development. He cheered me on by making snacks and putting movies and shows on my tablet for me to watch to distract me from pumping. One of the greatest inhibitors for breast milk production is stress- in the NICU everything is stressful! Since I wasn't producing nearly enough milk I signed the waiver to have Bree put on donor breast milk. It was such a God send for us, but that day I cried thinking that she was getting someone else's milk instead of mine. For about two weeks I only produced minimal amounts of milk, still pumping round the clock every two hours. We spent 14-20 hrs at a time in the NICU without steeping outside of hospital walls. We did cares for Bree with the help of our nurses (diaper change, temperature check and tube feeding) every three hours and I pumped away after that, before long it was time to start the process all over again. I dreaded pumping, it was so uncomfortable, and I dreaded seeing how little I was producing. I was taking lactation tea, drinking lots and trying my best. One day, God brought the most treasured woman into our NICU room Voni Miller. I was so frustrated with the pumping process that I just wanted to give up. Nate urged me daily, and sometimes multiple times a day that this was the best thing.

 The day I met Voni my perspective changed. She sat down and talked with me about my milk production, and the hope that Bree would one day breastfeed! She explained ways that we could encourage that right away, doing non-nutritive breastfeeding would start as soon as I was ready! Non- nutritive breastfeeding is when a mom pumps beforehand and practices breastfeeding with the baby without there being a flow of milk. Bree had yet to learn suck, swallow, and breathe and so she wasn't ready for my milk- however little it was.  I was so excited that there was hope and that we might be able to really do this thing.  Kangaroo care, or skin to skin is one of the best things for baby and for mom's milk production; however due to Bree's fragile state we didn't get this opportunity very often. We began non- nutritive breastfeeding about once a day, and my milk production began to increase more and more. The Lord really blessed me in this area once things got going, I couldn't hear another baby crying without leaking! It was 31 days of painful pumping, sleepless nights and quick snuggles with Bree, but I was finally producing milk! She was only on my breast milk tube fed and gaining anywhere from 2-3oz every day! We were ecstatic! One of the fascinating facts that Voni shared with me was that milk is tailored to the baby's needs, and nothing can replicate that! For preterm babies this means that a mother's milk is considerably more fatty and designed to help the baby grow at a fast rate. Voni wasn't only my lactation consultant, but she quickly became a dear friend and mentor!

Kangaroo Care is also important for Dad's to do as it helps with bonding, regulating baby's vitals and temperature! Nate treasured all of his Kangaroo time!