Attachment Parenting Driving You Crazy?

Before Bree's arrival I had spent hours reading sleep training books like Baby Wise and Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. Nate and I were ready to follow Ferber's cry it out method, and this was encouraged in the NICU as well. It wasn't until Bree was struggling to gain weight, nurse and thrive, that our lactation consultant suggested babywearing and I went down a totally different road. I began reading articles on the importance of babywearing not just for preemies but for full term infants as well. I read all of Dr. Sears books and fell in love with being free to parent my baby based off of her needs and not my own. I began seeing her gain weight and do a lot better within a few weeks!

For those of you unfamiliar with Dr. Sears Attachment Parenting style these are the 7 B's typically followed by AP parents. 

1. Birth Bonding

2. Breastfeeding

3. Babywearing

4. Bedding close to baby

5. Belief in baby's cry

6. Beware of Baby sleep trainers

7. Balance

Due to Bree's early arrival we were unable to do most of these from the get go, but we have since made up for lost time! Yes, we are those crazy parents that co- sleep, do extended breastfeeding and so on. However, one common theme that I am seeing in the AP community is that mom's (myself included at times) forget all about #7- Balance.
Whether you do any of these things or not, or not doesn't matter- but I do believe that balance is something that all moms need in their life. There are so many articles out there of women complaining about the AP method and how it didn't work for them, how they are breaking up with Dr. Sears and so on. However, the common thread isn't Dr. Sear's fault, it is our ability as mom's to practice balance in our lives.

Attachment Parenting isn't necessarily defined by physical space between the mother and baby, it can be at times, but the attachment is developed emotionally more than anything. AP is only a guideline, not a strict approach to parenting. I used to always feel bad if I had to put Bree down to go to the bathroom she would cry and cry. I felt awful and tried my best to hurry. I was a hot mess! I had it all wrong. It's ok if she cried a bit, I was eventually going to come out of the bathroom and take care of her needs. This is so important for us moms who haven't showered in days or had a moment to ourselves. It really is going to be ok if you aren't holding your baby every second of the day. Plus it makes holding them so much better when we are rested and refreshed.

So, put on the hot water for a cup of tea or coffee and take a load off. Take a deep breath and allow yourself to just be for a moment. Babies do cry- and it's ok. There can be balance with it. As parents we don't want to let our babies cry for too long, but we also don't want to drag ourselves into the ground and become too exhausted to parent these little beings either. It can be so exhausting, especially in the early months when you are nursing every 2-3 hrs and it seems that your not getting any sleep- hang in there it does get better! And it is ok to take a break every now and then.

Nate and I have made some arrangements so that I can get some rest here and there. I have also made a list of things that I enjoy doing, so  I don't get sucked into cleaning the house or end up taking the baby back.

1. Bible time/ weekly bible study with my ladies (these women keep me sane!)
2. Yoga
3. A run/bike ride/ walk etc
4. Shopping
5. A phone call to a friend/ meet up for coffee

These things don't always happen, but we try to squeeze them into our lives so that I don't go overboard! For those of you moms with more than one child, balance can sometimes seem unattainable- and you truly are the brave ones! I commend you on all that you do- but maybe it's time to leave the kiddos with someone and get some you time!?

Is balance a priority in your home? If not how can you make it a priority? What are some things that you like to do on  your own time?

If you are considering Attachment Parenting I'd love to answer any questions for you. While it's gaining popularity in the US may seem like a fad, this is how most women all over the world have been raising their babies for centuries.