Then Monday came, I woke up with big, strong, regular contractions. I called our midwife who said "you're going to meet your baby today, so spend your last few hours of pregnancy enjoying your family and relaxing." I so wished that was an option, but we still had a bit to finish packing and cleaning up at the old house. I called Mandy, my little sis up at college and told her today was going to be the day, she raced home to meet us at the old house. Nate and I went to the old house as I breathed through contractions, fully believing that I could pack, labor and that the timing would all work out. My sister, Nate, My dad and his lovely new wife Jenn all helped pack up the last of the stuff. Nate and Mandy were goofing off as usual (I seriously love what good friends they are) they made me laugh so hard I felt a gush and exclaimed "My water broke!" Contractions were getting closer together and we decided to head over to my aunts house where we were having the baby. Needless to say planning a home birth when you're between homes is a bit crazy, but my aunt was up for the challenge!! We thought for sure that our sweet baby would be coming any minute, but right about the time that we arrived at my Aunt Sue's labor came to a screeching halt. We spent the night there just in case, and I labored some during the night, but nothing regular or consistent.
The next day we decided to spend the day relaxing and enjoying time with the kids they had never spent a full day without us and I was desperately missing them, contractions were on and off the whole day. My midwives would come a few times during the day to check baby's heartbeat, and my vitals and to make sure there were no signs of distress or infection. One of the main reasons we choose to home birth is to avoid unnecessary interventions. In our particular case if we had gone to the hospital and had not started labor we would have been given pitocin, in the case that it didn't work to get things going or caused fetal distress a c-section would be our only option (based off of how my body didn't respond to induction we believe fully that baby wouldn't have responded well to pitocin). We were so thankful to not be in that position, but to allow my body to do what it needed to.
Wednesday early morning I woke up with contractions 3 minutes apart and strong for a few hours. We decided to keep things relaxed as could be (moving, living with in laws, and being in and out of labor is just stressful!). We went to starbucks and drank lattes while labor got going, we went over to my aunt's house where we took a few walks. With each walk we took on her property the contractions stopped, and every time I laid down they started up again. This was so frustrating! I labored like that all day on again off again. Cristi our midwife gave me a clary sage foot and belly massage that was heavenly and definitely relaxing, but not enough to kick up labor.We decided to try homeopathics to get labor going, when that didn't work we tried herbal remedies, and when that didn't work we pulled out the big guns and I drank caster oil (all of this was done with continual monitoring of me and baby and we had a hospital plan in case we needed to do that). Baby was doing great and so was I. The caster oil kicked in about an hour after taking it, the midwife team arrived and labor kicked up fast. Contractions were two minutes apart lasting about a minute. I could feel transition happening and Nate worked with me speaking affirmations over me, as the midwives filled the tub. But shortly after the tub was full contractions stopped completely. I was so tired at the point, I would fall into deep sleep between contractions, wake up to a contraction and back to sleep again. We were all getting a bit delirious. A big shout out to my Aunt Sue who fed everyone and made a huge pot of coffee to keep the team awake! We decided it was best for me to sleep some (it was about midnight at this point and I was tired). I slept for an hour and a half before strong hard transition picked up again. I did the ball, rocking, counter pressure for about 2 more hours, the team warmed the bath and we all got in ready position, and then my labor stopped again. This time it was almost 4 am and everyone was exhausted. The midwives decided after waiting about an hour to head home and that I should sleep. Nate and I slept in till 9am with no contractions at all! At this point I was exhausted, frustrated and feeling defeated!
The next morning we decided to pull together our best birth plan for the hospital knowing that if labor wasn't going to get going that I needed to get some pitocin. I spent the morning preparing for that scenario and grieving the loss of the birth I wanted. I prayed, worshiped and released all of my fears. I decided that if I was going to the hospital in the end I wanted to at least give it my best shot beforehand- I decided to doula myself. I began with another two oz of caster oil prescribed by my midwfe, and then I started the morning off with some awesome belly dancing (oxytocin inducing exercise without stopping contractions). I tried to get my sister and Aunt to join me, but they just watched and laughed with me as I tried to get things going. Nate and I went to breakfast,while chatting and laughing away ( he was amazing at trying to get me to relax and just hang out) I felt the baby move down and contractions picked up strong. Just about time the food came I knew we had to go! Side note, my poor hubby every time he tried to eat my contractions would pick up, he was so excited for this big huge breakfast... that we had to box up! Like I said he was amazingly patient! But by the time we arrived back at my Aunt's house.. yup you guessed it contractions stopped completely. My patience was thin, but I just decided to relax and spend the rest of the day worshiping, reading my bible and trusting that God had a plan. It was just before sunset when I decided to have Nate help me with some spinning babies moves to help stalled labor. I had been doing weekly chiropractic appointments and we knew baby was in optimal position, however, these exercises can help baby just a bit if they need it. We did the exercises (not expecting them to really work), we did it more like a practice round. He invited me to pray and take a sunset walk with him, "this isn't a labor walk he assured me several times, I just want to spend time with you."
We prayed over our decision to go to the hospital or not, to start antibiotics that night or not, and all of the scenarios in between. As he prayed something shifted in my body, and I knew the baby was coming. I told him that we didn't need to worry about the hospital plan, that I thought baby was coming, in that moment a contraction so strong came, that I was on all fours in an instant. Our midwife was on her way to discuss our options and do another fetal/ mommy check. She arrived as I had contractions all the way back to the house. As soon as she came we began discussing our options and I almost forgot how strong the contractions were (mind you I'd been laboring for days at this point so nothing out of the ordinary). I would stop her and close my eyes, breathing through contractions and then when it ended we'd pick up where we left off and begin discussing our options. We finalized our plan and it was time for her to check my vitals and then baby's. We weren't doing vaginal check at this point, I had only had one and had told her I didn't want any others since my membranes were broken I was at risk for infection. We both agreed that was the right choice, however, when she listened to baby (while I was having a contraction) she said "I need to check you." I sat on the birthing stool while she checked me, she looked up and said "do you feel like pushing?" "Um, no." "Jessie, you're at an 8 and your cervix is gone, I literally can't find it!" At this all of my birth knowledge went out the window, I knew something was going to go wrong I thought holding back tears, "where's my cervix?" I asked "No, no everything is fine, it's thinned out, you're going to have your baby tonight." She said calmly.
In what felt like a second, she and Nate went to work filling up the birth tub again and getting the midwife team over. I didn't really believe it because we'd already had one fire drill. The contractions kept coming, much like they had the previous 7 days, but I got my bathing suit on and thought well the warm water will feel good before I stall out again. I got in the tub and within a few minutes contractions were hard, and I started feeling the urge to push. Baby girl began crowning and I knew we were going to have a baby.I remembered what I had told Nate on the walk, it was true! I was so present and alert this birth, it was unlike any of my others. I ate toast just before she crowned, joked and laughed with everyone and had my worship music in the background with my candles going. As she crowned it was my first birth not saying "I can't." This time all I said was "This is really hard work." Two pushes later I caught her in the water and our baby was born!!!! In the instant that I caught her I heard a snap, her cord had snapped in the last push. The midwives checked her and me, she was fine, they gave me some pitocin to control bleeding as a precaution. Nate and I sat there snuggling our girl in disbelief that in less than two hours since midwife arrived we had a baby! Thursday September 22 at 9:28pm weighing 7lbs 5oz and 18.5 in long. I moved to the bed and baby and I snuggled, nursed and just rested.
This labor and birth were so different than any of my others, and with each labor and delivery I learn more about myself, my husband and life. This time I learned that babies really do come when they are ready. Her short cord made it so that she needed to take her time each day to work on it. I learned that when life is out of our control it doesn't do any good to stress, but to rest in the father's hands waiting on his timing. And lastly, I learned that once again women's bodies are seriously badass- because after 7 days of labor I caught my baby in the water and replaced my "I can'ts." with "This is hard work."
If you made it all the way through this, you're a serious champ! If you're pregnant and reading this here are a few words I have for you...
1. This is just one variation of normal, this doesn't mean that your birth will go or not go this way. This is just my story. I almost hesitated sharing this because I know what it was like being pregnant and hearing hard, long labor stories and being scared out of my mind. But take heart, your birth and your story will be uniquely yours and you will be strong enough to do it!
2. Our story is a great example of how safe and comforting midwifery care can be, I hope that this story eases fear of homebirth, and gives a sense of empowerment!
3. Find support for your journey, whether that's a doula, a husband, both, an incredible midwife team, family- whatever it is, it can't just be one person and it has to be low stress people in your space! Birth is an incredible journey, allowing people to be part of it-- is special.
Lastly a huge shout out to my sister Mandy who took an entire week off school instead of one day like we thought, the sleepless hours of walking with me and listening to me complain about how long things were taking!
My Aunt Sue for opening her home to have a baby in, feeding all of us, making me meals and loving on my family!!! You are a gem, a treasure and I'm so thankful for you in my life!
My Dad and Jenn for finishing the packing for us and dealing with all of our junk! Also for bringing meals, and supporting us through this crazy week!
My in laws for watching the kids for a whole week and dealing with all of the uncertainty of the situation!
My amazing midwife Cristi and her birth team for enduring long nights, lots of driving back and forth, constant monitoring, letting me cry and be frustrated, and empowering me to labor and catch my own baby!!! Cristi you are not only my midwife you have become a dear friend/mentor and I am so thankful for you and your heart!!! Thank you for an incredible experience with midwifery care!
And lastly, my incredible husband, I can't believe we have three gorgeous kids now. There is no one else that would do this with me! Thank you for believing in me and supporting me, thank for you for all the skipped meals, and late nights of no sleep! I love you to the moon and back!! You're an incredible doula and midwife in training (but seriously you are!)
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